The land down under

Australia (<>> <><>><><><>><><><>>e? <><><><>),%20officially%20the%20Commonwealth%20of%20Australia,%20is%20a%20country%20in%20the%20Southern%20Hemisphere%20<>%20comprising%20the%20mainland%20of%20the%20Australian%20continent%20<>,%20the%20island%20of%20Tasmania%20<>%20and%20numerous%20smaller%20islands%20<>%20in%20the%20Indian%20<>%20and%20Pacific%20Oceans%20<>.%20It%20is%20the%20world's%20sixth-largest%20country%20by%20total%20area%20<>.%20Neighboring%20countries%20include%20Indonesia%20<>,%20East%20Timor%20<>%20and%20Papua%20New%20Guinea%20<>%20to%20the%20north,%20the%20Solomon%20Islands%20<>,%20Vanuatu%20<>%20and%20New%20Caledonia%20<>%20to%20the%20northeast%20and%20New%20Zealand%20<>,000%20years%20before%20European%20<>%20settlement%20in%20the%20late%2018th%20century,%20Australia%20was%20inhabited%20by%20indigenous%20Australians%20<>,%20who%20belonged%20to%20one%20or%20more%20of%20roughly%20250%20language%20groups%20<>.%20After%20discovery%20by%20Dutch%20<>%20explorers%20in%201606,%20Australia's%20eastern%20half%20was%20claimed%20by%20Great%20Britain%20<>%20in%201770%20and%20initially%20settled%20through%20penal%20transportation%20<>%20to%20the%20colony%20of%20New%20South%20Wales%20<>%20from%2026%20January%201788.%20The%20population%20grew%20steadily%20in%20subsequent%20decades;%20the%20continent%20was%20explored%20and%20an%20additional%20five%20self-governing%20<>%20Crown%20Colonies%20were%20established.1%20January%201901,%20the%20six%20colonies%20federated%20<>,%20forming%20the%20Commonwealth%20of%20Australia.%20Since%20Federation,%20Australia%20has%20maintained%20a%20stable%20liberal%20democratic%20<>%20political%20system%20which%20functions%20as%20a%20federal%20<>%20parliamentary%20democracy%20<>%20and%20constitutional%20monarchy%20<>.%20The%20federation%20comprises%20six%20states%20and%20several%20territories%20<>.%20The%20population%20of%2022.6%20million%20is%20heavily%20concentrated%20in%20the%20Eastern%20states%20<>%20and%20is%20highly%20urbanized%20<>.highly%20developed%20country%20<>,%20Australia%20is%20the%20world's%20thirteenth%20largest%20economy%20<>%20and%20has%20the%20world's%20seventh-highest%20per%20capita%20income%20<>.%20Australia's%20military%20expenditure%20is%20the%20world's%20twelfth%20largest%20<>.%20With%20the%20second-highest%20human%20development%20index%20globally%20<>,%20Australia%20ranks%20highly%20in%20many%20international%20comparisons%20of%20national%20performance,%20such%20as%20quality%20of%20life,%20health,%20education,%20economic%20freedom%20<>%20and%20the%20protection%20of%20civil%20liberties%20<>%20and%20political%20rights.%20Australia%20is%20a%20member%20of%20the%20G20%20<>,%20OECD%20<>,%20WTO%20<>,%20APEC%20<>,%20UN%20<>,%20Commonwealth%20of%20Nations%20<>,%20ANZUS%20<>,%20and%20the%20Pacific%20Islands%20Forum%20<>.%20[1]><><><><>), officially the Commonwealth of Australia, is a country in the Southern Hemisphere <> comprising the mainland

The land down under



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and feels. This results in him criticising the art world, lactose intolerant kids and men who go by the name of Stefan.sensitive or compassionate- Chopper Reid tells people to harden the fuck up


Upside down

humour is often upside down. The joke almost seems to be that the label is the opposite to what it should be. For instance, Australians take delight in dubbing a tall man "Shorty", a silent one "Rowdy" a bald man "Curly", and a redhead is "Blue". A bastard may mean a good bloke. Likewise, larrikin, wog, and mongrel may all be used as terms of endearment.


Belittling the wowser[35]

humour is used to strengthen friendships, it is also used to demean those who are too serious. Anyone who promotes a sense of moral decency inevitably invites ridicule. In 1832, the Governor of Tasmania prepared to deliver a moral speech to the female Convicts at the Cascade Female Factory[36]. When he approached the elevated dais, "the three hundred women turned right around and at one impulse pulled up their clothes showing their naked posteriors which they simultaneously smacked with their hands making a loud and not very musical noise..... In a rare moment of collusion with the Convict women, the ladies in the Governor's party could not control their laughter."contemporary times, wowsers are demeaned in the annual Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gra. Assimilationalist Pauline Hanson and moral crusader Fred Nile are featured in floats that question their sexuality or mock their overly serious expressions. As for the crowd, they are continuingly mooned so as to cut down any onlookers that possess a high command of by the name of O'Sullivan even lionized mooning in an attempt to get his aboriginal client, James Albert Ernest Togo, off the hook for baring his buttocks at a policeman. O'Sullivan argued that " mooning was accepted Australian behaviour and should be seen as a national icon." The police prosecutor, Michael Purcell, asked in response "whether bare buttocks should replace the emu and kangaroo on Australia's coat of arms."the Sydney Olympics, Roy and H.G unveiled the lewd and rude Fatso the Fat arsed wombat as the mascot of their show, The Dream. Fatso was posed in a perpetual moon and comic animations depicted him waddling across the TV screen leaving little nuggets as a reminder of his grace.


Aimed at themselves

Australian's humour is often self-depreciating. For example, a cerebral palsy sufferer by the name of Steady Eddy turned his disability into an asset by making a comic routine about it. In his quest for love, he recounted that upon seeing a beautiful girl, he often wished: " if only she had a limp..."from being directed at oneself, humour may also be directed towards ones racial group. For example, Australians of Greek extraction occasionally reminisce about their upbringing; fondly recalling their mothers teaching them how to put on their underwear - yellow at the front and brown at the back, or how their fathers gave them gold chains so they would know where to stop shaving.depreciation is also common on a national level. During the opening of the Sydney Olympics, an obviously drunk Governor General pronounced "Sa-sa-Sydney" and then knocked over the microphone. It was a shameful performance that would have had most countries scared that they world would think they are being led by a socially inept buffoon!! Oddly, most Australians just found it funny, and even speculated that if he got sacked for being pissed on the job, he may have a career as a rap singer to fall back on. Eddy - Cerebral palsy comedian


Aimed at friends

paradoxically, to make a joke at a mate's expense is to signal a sense of comfort in the strength of the friendship. On the goldfields in the 1850's, to blow up a mate's dunny was considered hilarious whilst 'mongrel', 'galah' and 'bastard' were terms of international level, despite being shafted at Gallipoli[37], Australians probably get on better with Pomes than any other nationality. At the very least, Poms[38] have helped Australians out by taking the likes of Our Kylie and Germain Greer off their hands. Curiously, the level of piss-taking between the two countries is also extremely high. Poms have been known to define an Australian as someone "who reads comic books without moving their lips". They have also stated an Australian gentlemen is "someone who offers to light his girlfriend's farts."Australian retort is often a little different. Rather than rattle off a one liner, Australians tend to personalise an English stereotype by applying it directly to the individual standing in front of them. For example, upon meeting a Pom at Bondi Beach, an Australian might say he saw him earlier and knew he was English judging by the way he was trying to surf white-water, by his resemblance to a tomato or the abundance of flies surrounding him. In a bar, an Australian may welcome an Englishmen with a handshake and a warm 'g'day mate' only to then introduce him to other patrons with make a public announcement that there Pom is in the house and wallets should be kept under guard. In front of his new friend, he may then inform the barman that he requires another drink as "he is as dry as a pommy towel" in reference to the aversion Poms have to bathing.also have a reasonable relationship with the Kiwis and accordingly, have the insults to boot. They may speculate that there so many Kiwis are living in Sydney so they can go up Blue Mountains[39] way where the abundance of cliffs has the sheep backing up harder. They may even speak fondly of Kiwi produce, citing the lamb is especially tender due to loving New Zealand farmers.the English, the Kiwis like to make jokes about the lack of Australian intelligence. In 2004, it seemed that both the jokes about the Kiwi's love of sheep and Australian's lack of intelligence indeed had an element of truth in them. To compensate it for taking for 52,000 Australian sheep, Australia paid Eritrea, an African country, $A1 million ($NZ1.16 million) in addition with 3000 tones of feed. In Kiwi eyes, the deal made Australians look quite stupid, and the Kiwis let their thoughts be known. In Australian eyes; however, the Kiwis were just upset about a potential love boat being sent in the wrong direction, and were letting their emotions be known.with nations such as America aren't quite as strong and perhaps it is no co-incidence that such countries are less inclined to either take or give the piss. For example, simple attempts at hilarity involving George Bush's inability to eat a pretzel, let alone lead his country, invariably raise the ire of Americans who rush to their president's defence. Unfortunately, a situation of mirth may then descend into fisticuffs.


Breaking the rules

the colonial era, the ability to make a policeman laugh may have been the difference between the gallows and freedom. A notable exponent of such comedy was a convict of African extraction by the name of Billy Blue. Billy wore a discarded military uniform, a top hat and and possessed a repertoire of jokes that flowed like fine wine. So well did he endear himself to the authorities, they 'believed' his claims that rather they be an alcohol smuggler, he kept finding liquor floating in Sydney harbour and had been stopped before he had a chance to report it to the authorities.Gordon, another convict of African extraction, faced court expecting to receive a death sentence. When he appeared in the dock, Daniel was wild and incoherent in a performance that smacked of a praise-the-lord pastor crossed with a black and white minstrel. Everyone from other convicts to the court clerk thought he was acting. Fortunately, the usually skeptical judge deemed him mentally unfit for trial. When his condition failed to improve, the case was called off. Daniel eventually died 32 years later, aged 81.full-figured cricket player Shane Warne was found guilty of using a banned diuretic, he pleaded that he was just trying to lose weight to look good for the cameras. He even threw in a few fat jokes, for example that he was tired of being teased about having "more chins than a Chinese phonebook." Instead of being given the standard two year suspension, Shane was only banned for one year. Perhaps this indicates that his jokes were given a bare pass mark.Hogan - Australian OlympicsAustralians are a cynical bunch. Unfortunately, they are faced with a dilemma as if they express there criticism they may be called a whingeing pom, an elitist wanker or even worse, a wowser.clever Australians resolve this quandary by disguising their criticisms as jokes. Tony Martin expressed his distaste for the commentators of a commercial television station by saying:

"Channel nine's pissing me off at the moment, is it just me or does anyone else hate the cricket as much as I do? Because I'm sorry, but when I turn on the TV and it's just like 12 blokes in white clothes, standing in a all day and Tony Greg says "Well it just doesn't get much more exciting that this." I beg to differ, I'm sorry, I just do..Max Walker was hosting the AFL last year and somebody said to him, "Grand final Max, what d'ya reckon?" "Well I tell ya what, Grand final, it's a pretty big day for football." Well thanks for that Max. Cheque's in the mail. Very nicely done.", convicted criminal Chopper Reid put in his two cents on police brutality:

"The tough approach at least produced tougher crooks, not like today. When

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